Stephanie Filio, Resident in Counseling, M.Ed
Helping Individuals Reconnect with
Their True Selves
I’m Stephanie Filio, a former school counselor who helped teens and pre-teens build confidence, communicate better, and feel more understood. Now, I am a Corporate Trainer during the day and Resident in Counseling at night! What does that mean? I am a therapist who is working under a fantastic supervisor (Dr. Melody Agbisit) at Kultura Wellness and Consulting!
I also am still in love with School Counseling, even though we broke up. A published author in trauma response in schools, I love collaborating and consulting educators, continue to create lessons and activities for counselors, and still like kids more than adults (generally speaking)!
Email me for all inquiries, including individual counseling services, speaking, and all things School Counseling at stephanie@kulturawellness.com .
Story Time.
My grandmother always said..."This too shall pass." Sweet, but when my kids were 11-18, no amount of time was soon enough.
I spent 12 years as a School Counselor-- beloved by my students and families, if I do say so myself. The reception from my own kids I got at home from a long 8-9 hour day? Rolled eyes and icy comments about my inability to understand. Anything. Especially them. My own sanity? Nonexistent.
A student once came to me with some difficulties she was experiencing with her mother. Once very close, she expressed how she was sure her mother was now causing her irreversible distress that would no doubt last long into adulthood and likely the afterlife. I actively listened to her monologue, and told her that indeed parents can be a little extra. She nodded emphatically. I told her that sometimes kids get older and, "parents, like, just can't handle it that their kid is not a child anymore." She agreed with vigor.
Then, I turned a bit. "Ugh," I exclaimed, "and honestly?" I waited a beat, she was holding her breath. "It's really scary." She softened slowly as I discussed how it's hard to let go, how a parent can struggle with transitions, how difficult it is to let someone you love fail or even possibly fail.
"Ok, I get that," she hesitated in thought, "but why can't she just say that to me? Why can't my mom be more like you?" I gave her my kindest, knowing eyes and turned a picture of my kids around. We were both misty at the happy and well-adjusted image. I told her with certainty, they hate me. Her mouth dropped, she needed to know how that could be possible! I told her I didn't know, but I swore truthfully that they hate me and say all of the same things to me she reported about her mom. She thought for a second and then asked with hope, "You promise??"
"I promise," I assured her, "they really do." She returned to class, delighting in the newfound knowledge that what she was feeling was normal, and possibly, how her mom was acting was also normal. And maybe they just really, really loved each other. She'd come to thaw out just a little. Enough to slowly let her mom in, but not so much that she can't keep growing.
I counsel with the understanding that we are all doing our best, and some things are just part of the season. I meet my clients where they are and I do not show up to know what they need, I show up to help them get in touch with their truth as they decide.